Ch. 4 Restaino-- Communicating and Connecting
In the final chapter of Jessica Restaino’s First Semester, Restaino explores the complex relationship grad students have with their department and how WPAs have a difficult time accommodating both faculty and grad students, as their university expectations are also complicated. Overall, I think Restaino’s book has been eye-opening and validating in that it has made me realize that I am not alone in my struggles as I teach; however, it appears that WPAs have a difficult time figuring out how to approach us, similarly to how we have a hard time approaching them.
Something I have been having a hard time process is just the ways in which the members of our department communicate with one another. The general impression I have gotten from Restaino and my own experiences over the last semester or so have shown me that not only do grad students have a difficult time finding ways to adequately convey our concerns, problems, and overall confusion to our mentors, administrators, and sometimes even our fellow cohort members. We often struggle in silence, as we think there is a shame in not knowing things, when in all reality we are in the same place as everyone else around us. Reading Restaino opened up conversations amongst our cohort that might now have otherwise taken place, as many of us were unaware that we were not the only one feeling downtrodden by the herculean task of teaching first-year composition.
While entering grad school and teaching for the first time has been daunting, for the first time in a while it feels as though there has been a shift in our spirits. At least outwardly, many of us seem to be handling our struggles in different manners this semester, talking to one another more, sharing our success and failures, and overall just seeking out camaraderie amongst our fellow cohort members. Perhaps it has been a trauma bonding of sorts, but I am incredibly grateful to have you all alongside me in this messy journey that often is our grad school experience.Yes, we all admittedly still have our days and moments where we wonder what we are doing or why we are maybe even here in the first place, but at the end of it, we are still thriving and growing as individuals in spite of the struggle. As we continue to grow as educators and students, I look forward to seeing how we learn to navigate the university systems and better communicate and advocate for ourselves.
Hi Abbie,
ReplyDeleteAll you talked about here is so true. However, we all can relate to it. To be honest, while I was reading this book for the first time, I also felt the same as you that I'm not alone drowning in this new transition. Grad school is hard so is balancing your duties as an instructor. Nevertheless, we are polishing our skill sets through continuous practicing. It is going to help us in your further days. We are having rough time but we are also possessing as a teacher in FYC which is allowing us to walk in the professional world without proving our qualities for that certain area. At last I just wanna chime the same thing with you that everyone in our cohort is doing awesome. All of us are amazing.
Abbie,
ReplyDeleteIt's really interesting to gain that perspective, that just as much as we have struggles within our GA experiences, writing programs are struggling to figure out how exactly to prepare us and help us fit into the program--I like that you bring up that point.
I think it's true that there is a lack of communication. Grad students don't always want to let the WPAs know how much we're struggling (myself included) because we want to prove we're capable. We walk a weird balance with our administrators/instructors/bosses, because in our case, they can all be the same person. And, I think it's true that from program to program, there can be a breakdown in communication between WPAs and instructors/people in the dept. about what is expected of TAs and how we're preparing them (especially when it comes to the mentor program). As we've learned in our discussions with our cohort, there are major discrepancies from one experience to the next in preparing to teach.
I think it's helpful that we can share in the struggle, both with each other, and with the students in Resitano's case study. The system isn't perfect for any of us, even if we have had a better training experience than those Resitano observed.
I appreciate this and definitely agree that we should consider the struggles and trials of being a WPA. Having come from an administrative position at IUPUI (in our writing center) and being around our director and watching her struggles with making micro changes in an institution that already marginalized the center's existence, really made me empathize with administrators as a whole. Especially in liberal arts. They're constantly balancing faculty and students and in-betweens (us) and pushing back against policies while also trying to maintain the graces to keep funding. It's hard and it's complicated and I think this is part of the reason why some of the complaining about how Ball State structures it's graduate program is frustrating, because yes it could be different, there could ALWAYS be something that's better, but WPAs are also overworked and underpaid and trying to figure it all out too.
ReplyDeleteAbbie,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad this semester starting teaching has been full of social support for you. Your post makes me think back to the Threshold Concepts we learned in ID 601, especially "Writing is a social and rhetorical activity." For us to improve as students and teachers, it is really important that we consult each other. Getting feedback and support can be a catalyst for our confidence and improvement. We are each others biggest advocates.
Best,
McKenzie
Abbie,
ReplyDeleteI think you are right, that it's sometimes hard to communicate the struggles we go through as students & teachers. Even among one another, I sometimes do "suffer in silence" because I don't want to look bad and I don't want others to know that I don't have it all together. I think a lot of it comes from the imposter syndrome nearly all of us have. Sharing struggles and classroom problems in class or even in private with one another can really help us help one another. It's hard to feel vulnerable and let people know that things suck, but hopefully we as a cohort can understand that all of us, even people with experience, are all new to this.
I think that once we are able to open up and help one another, our cohort won't feel like one giant "bitch session." I think it will help us really be able to solve problems and lean on one another. Hopefully the complaining and frustrations will decrease, and the worries will fade a bit. It's really hard, but once we are all able to put rough things out in the open, maybe things will actually get better. Problems might be solved and our overall outlook will be positive.
Kristen
Abbie,
ReplyDeleteI really resonated with a lot of your thoughts here. It has been difficult to communicate in our cohort, both within our cohort to each other and with our administrators. We have such a unique and undefined role within our department, which makes it difficult to know exactly how/when/what you can tell people we work with. It's a very complicated position, and can often make me feel like I'm walking on eggshells.
I have noticed all of us beginning to open up more, especially in ENG605. It's been so nice to be able to talk out our feelings and thoughts in a safe environment where we feel heard. It's been enlightening to learn about the experiences of my cohort and learn more about the other side of things as a WPA through our book and conversations. It seems like the more we learn and get more comfortable both within our positions and with each other, the better we are getting. I'm excited to hear about all of our experiences as we get even more teaching under our belts.
Thank you for a positive post!
Natalie